Now we have to use tape.


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When they made glue out of horses it was a lot better. Now we have to use tape. So what animal are we sacrificing tape for? And when will we become outraged by it?

I know the turtles have nothing to do with tape, I think. They’re in the straw category.

I’m goin with slow moving mammals, like the sloth or koala. But they have a lot of chlamydia. Maybe the government is pushing chlamydia then? Like aids and crack! Only for straight, white people this time!

I dunno, I got like $500 on tape being cancelled within the next 12 years.

P.S. I love horses and would gladly go to jail/prison for one. They know people more than people know people or care to know people, yet they put up with the bullshit people and have yet to have a revolt. I’m just waiting for The Godfather: Horse tales. What life did that horse lead to end up decapitated on some old, sweaty, disillusioned, fat, probably pseudo-Italian’s bed? What was the horse’s name?

I’d like to think, Brad, Henry, Bill Murray, or Lenny Kravitz (however you spell his probably fake name). Maybe even Larry King or Jared Leto, but I think Leto was still crapping his pantaloons (on accident) at this point. I know I was.

My breath smells like my dog’s ears.

Why is poetry now sanitized, sad, pathetic, seemingly irrelevant, or too “self-help”y? What happened to poetry that confused people and made them sad about things they were t sure they were sad about?

And by, the horse glue was better, I mean the glue itself was, not the process of getting it. Just like the chocolate at Willy’s was a lot better because of the unlimited amount of midget slaves.

Doesn’t make it ethical, but it does make it good!